I am a friend of God

Dont you hate that "needy" side of you that desires to be loved? Somewhere down the line we were all taught that to want this love was "needy" and to be needy was weak.

I'll admit, I'm not proud of the fact that I constantly find myself wanting to feel accepted, embraced, taken care of, and understood. But its true, I wants someone who wont leave me, hurt me, or break my heart.

It wasnt until today that I realized I already have this special someone. No more trying to find it in family, friends, or boyfriends. No more broken hearts or seemingly unanswered prayers. No more feeling lonely or desperate.

Why?

Because I have my God.

A God who loves me through thick and thin. A God who stands beside me when I sin, when I curse Him, and when I question Him. A God who knows me and needs no explanation from me. A God who desires to spend a life with me. A God who delights in my quirks, both good and bad.

And best of all, a God who doesnt need me... but a God who wants me.

I am a friend of God,

He calls me Friend!

On the Edge

Have you ever wished you could just take a vacation from your life? A hiatus of sorts. You know, time away from the stress of responsibility, obligations, complicated emotions, tough decisions, and broken relationships. Time to simply sit back, kick up your feet and forget about the world.

I dont know about you, but a vacation from my life sounds absolutely blissful right about now. Its become painfully obvious to me that I've hit a wall...

I feel tired, exhausted, emotional, unbalanced, mixed up, and perpetually pulled in a million directions. I'm frustrated, excited, optimistic, distressed, worried, and all cried out.

Confused yet? Welcome to my world!

I literally feel as if I'm on a crazy never ending roller coaster that has lost its intrigue and is beginning to make me nauseated.

UGH....

I'm out of words, out of feelings, and out of energy to do it all. Where do I go from here? How do I handle what I've created? Whether I like it or not, tomorrow WILL come and I WILL be forced to move forward... but how?

Lord show me the way. Pick me up when my feet wont move. Tell me everything will be "ok". Re-energize me and fill me up. Help me move forward.

Bring the Rain

"And I know there'll be days when this life brings me pain. But if that what it takes to Praise you... Jesus bring the rain!"

....tough day.

Easter

Happy Easter everyone!

Its been a blast spending Easter with my family here in Arizona, as you can probably tell by the millions of pictures I've taken and posted.

Last night we all decorated Easter eggs for the "Easter Bunny" to hide, and the joy and excitement on Bella's face was priceless.

As tradition in our family, everyone picks one egg that is specifically theirs to decorate. This egg will be the one you fight with in the morning in our annual Easter Egg Fight!! Here is a Pictures of John's monster egg.... it cracked me up

And of course I HAD to make an "Aunt Emily" egg :-)

This morning we all woke the kids up and had our traditional Easter egg and Easter Basket hunt. This was Tyler's 1st Easter in which he really understood what was going on, and watching him run around finding eggs and baskets was hilarious!

At breakfast we all took our turn at Eggs Fights.... the ultimate champion was non other than the "Jesus" egg I made the night before. How appropriate for Easter!

Here is a cute picture of Bri and Bella egg fighting

After the excitement of breakfast and the digging into of the Easter Baskets, we all got ready and went off to Church.

Good times in Arizona!

After my new apartment was chosen and official, we all went out to Mexican food to celebrate!

Here are some cute pictures of Bell and I playing this morning....

My new neighbor and I (yay for sisters living 1.3 miles apart!)

My New Arizona Apartment

Hello from beautiful Arizona!

I awoke this morning to an amazing desert monsoon and and a nice cool cloudy day perfect for apartment hunting. I can hardly believe it, but its only 1:30pm and I've already signed a lease and am now officially a resident of Scottsdale Arizona! I decided on the Camden Legacy Apartments and couldn't be happier with my choice! The apartment is gorgeous and well worth the long move. Here are some photos I took of the apartment I'll be living in...

Here is my living room. My sister is showing me where things should go

My lovely (and big) kitchen

The dining room... oh and my weird brother in law John (what a goof!)

My sister playing Vana White in my Laundry room (ITS HUGE!!)

Here is one angle of the guest bathroom

The shower/tub in the guest bathroom

The guest room

My bedroom (the master bedroom)

Another angle of my bedroom

Here is the little hall to my bathroom inside my master suit :-)

Master Bath

Different angle of master bath

A girls favorite part of her home.... the walk in closet!! this closet was massive, but its hard to tell because I wasn't able to get the entire width from the angle I was standing. Regardless the closet is easily 3x bigger than what I have now :-) YAY!

Good Friday

Happy Good Friday everyone!!

And a good Friday it is indeed. I just finished packing and I'm off to Arizona for the weekend. Its gonna be a busy two days, but I'm ready to hit the ground running. Please be in prayer that God will give me a clear sign as to where I should live in Arizona. Tomorrow afternoon I will officially be a future Valley of the Sun resident. YAY!! I'll be sure to take lots of pictures of the weekend to post when I get back. Have a wonderful Easter everyone!!

Watch Out!

CAN YOU SAY PMS?!?

I'm cranky, easily annoyed, impatient, emotional, exhausted, bloated, and something that rhymes with "witchy". I truly feel sorry for thoes around me who are forced to endure my oh so lovely Pre-menstrual symptoms. Now excuse me for discussing this so called "off limits" subject, but can I just ask... what in the world was God thinking when He created the menstrual cycle?? I mean expecting women to endure nearly two weeks of emotional hell is simply unreasonable. And what exactly is it men have to endure?... NOTHING! Yet they have the nerve to ask us "is this your time of the month?" when we begin to show the slightest of emotion or annoyance, as if being annoyed has nothing to do with them and everything to do with our period. RIIIIGHT!! Oh and another thing... why is it that at the exact moment our bloating begins and our jeans wont button, is the day we receive the new Victoria's Secret swim suit catalog edition?? Come on people, NO ONE LOOKS LIKE THAT! I'd like to see Gisele with no make-up, dirty hair, with an un-airbrushed body, bloated, and cranky shoved into a barely there two piece and see just how sexy she really feels. Am I right?

*SIGH*

I think I need a glass of wine... actually make that a lemon martini!

This poster cracks me up. If you cant read it, it says "PMS: Problems Men Started"

long week... Arizona here I come

UGH what an exhausting day its been!! Can anyone else relate to just how much of a pain in the butt it is to register for classes? I nearly had an anxiety attack trying to figure out my school schedule and somehow integrate it with being able to work and have a social life at the same time. Needless to say, I finally got it all figured out and am now relaxing in the shade drinking a cold glass of lemonade.

With the stress of today behind me, I now have the weekend to look forward to. Not only do I get to celebrate the Resurrection of our Lord with my entire family in Arizona, I also get to finalize the papers on my new apartment :-) Yep, things are moving forward. I can hardly believe I'll be living in Scottsdale in a little over a month... crazy I know. In preparation for my new life in the desert, I've recently begun to shop for a more "summer" wardrobe. That's right, Arizona will finally break me from my jeans and anything the color black obsession. Sun dresses, shorts, and vibrant summer colors are what I'm aiming for. Any suggestions on good (cheap) places to shop??

Although I have no idea what apartment I will officially be choosing, I have a strong feeling I'll be living at the Camden Legacy in Scottsdale. Camden's rent comes in the lowest, yet they have a beautiful, private, and well tended to complex. Here is a sneak preview of the Camden Legacy

I think its easy to see why I love Camden so much... unlike many of the other complexes in Arizona, Camden's landscape bears a striking resemblance to southern California with its tall palm trees and green grass. I'll be the first to admit that while I know Arizona has MUCH to offer... its natural desert landscape is not one of them. I'm sure I'll grow to appreciate and find the beauty in the barren cactus filled land, but in the mean time its always nice to find a place as lush as Camden to be my oasis in the desert. I have no idea where God will lead me, but I trust He will place me where I'm meant to be... I'm just so excited!

Not Me Tuesday

Well it seems my frazzled life has struck again, preventing me from writing my usual Not Me Monday blog... opps! Well who says I cant write a Not Me Tuesday blog?? Hmm lets try it out and see how it goes.

1. I did NOT get up this morning and down multiple cups of coffee just to keep my eyes open long enough to shower and put a little make-up on.
2. I did NOT blast the sound tract to Chicago in my car on my way to work and mouth every word to every song.
3. I did NOT forget to turn the gas on when putting the wet clean clothes in the dryer, only to find sopping wet clothes spinning round and round in a heatless dryer.
4. I did NOT let the kids entertain themselves today with kitchen pans while I scurried to finish my homework for my class tonight.
5. I did NOT say "SHHH" about a million times to the kids this afternoon
6. I did NOT find little James wandering the back yard completely naked... no diaper or anything.
7. I did NOT wipe multiple poopy butts today... yucks thats just gross.
8. I did NOT use the sentence, "We dont eat our boogies"
9. I did NOT eat the kids lunch of tater-tots and left over pizza after they refused to.
10. I did NOT have my sister write me up my first resume simply because I had no idea what one even looked like, let alone knew how to write one myself.
11. I do NOT consider watching The Real Housewives of New York tonight with a glass of wine the highlight of my day.