Sunday, January 18, 2009

My Messy Fun Life....

I'm just about to turn 21 and as I look back on my life, I cant help but be proud of who I've become. My life is far from perfect, but I love it regardless. I'm messy, unorganized, irresponsible, loud, opinionated, independent, outspoken, impatient, and easily annoyed. Sure there are areas in my life which could use some improvement... but who couldnt right? I no longer let others expectations of me rule who I become. I'm done trying to fit into somebody elses idea of "perfection", after all no one's life is perfect. Ask anyone and they'd tell you that I'd be the first to own up to, accept, and whole-heartedly love my flaws! It was actually my eating disorder that taught me to be genuinly and authentically myself in each and every area of my life. Believe it or not it was my anorexia that taught me to let go of my need for perefection, my need for approval, and my need for acceptance. I've also learned to let go of that ever elusive inner critic, and enjoy my messy and utterly unorganized life for what it is. I'm scatterbrained and cooky, creative and spontaneous, and always in search of new ways to enjoy the woman I'm becoming.

I no longer feel anxious when I look at my messy room. And although I know I must eventually clean it before it over takes me life, I've learned to take a moment before embarking on that journey, to embrace the mess before I clean it up. What do I mean by that? I mean I turn on the music and dance like mad admist the clutter and crap. I dig deep to find the child within and enjoy that carefree spirit for a brief moment in my life. Have you ever met a little girl who spent her days cleaning, organizing, and making to-do lists? NO WAY! Little girls put on their best bobbles and highest heals and they simply dance and twirl the day away. Now thats not to say that as adults we can live our whole lives with the attitude of a child, but regardless of your age that little girl will forever live inside you dying to be let out on occassion. I look at my niece and envy her carefree nature and ability to put the world aside and simply play. When was the last time you played? Whatever your quirks may be, enjoy them dont fight them... life it too short.

( Thank you Kelley for being my inspiration! I love your free, life loving, adventutors, and beautiful spirit!! I admire your willingness and ability to embrace who you've become... quirks and all. Coffee with you this morning was a wonderful way to start my day. )

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