Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Yesterday was a rough day. I found myself having to continually push myself to move forward.
My mind simply would not let me forget how much my joints hurt, how much my rib cage ached, or how awful the side effects of the medication I'm taking are.
It's been difficult lately trying to accept my broken body for what it is, but step by step, inch by inch, I've begun to make progress.
Unfortunately with ever 5 steps forward, I inevitably experience 3 steps back.... and yesterday was a 3 step back kinda day.
I was sure nothing would turn this day around. I was positive no one would succeed in putting a smile on my face. And I was confident I wouldn't be able to find joy in the midst of sorrow.....
But then came a knock on my door. As I opened it, there stood my wonderful boyfriend holding a bouquet of flowers and a lovely "feel better" card.
*SIGH* my heart melted. Suddenly a smile came to my face and for a second everything in my world seemed right again. It was a simple gesture, but it meant the world.
Bad days are inevitable, but he always seems to cheer me up- and for that I feel so very blessed!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Bubbles and Candles

There's something about a bubble bath that can turn a "so-so" day into one of greatness.
Baths have an uncanny ability to cleans my mind and center my focus.
Maybe its the warm sudsy water, maybe its the peaceful music I play, maybe its being surrounded by candles as my only source of light, or maybe its the conversations I have with the Lord. I don't know what it is that makes my baths so magnificent- but they are indeed a source of joy in my life... and we all need a little joy now and then right??
Someday I'd love to create a bathroom that looks like these....

Crochet Away

With the ever present stressors of life heavy on my mind, I've recently come to the realization that perhaps I need a new hobby in my life to serve as a distraction and mind cleanser.
And although reading and playing my guitar are both hobbies I enjoy abundantly, they both require brain power and deep concentration... two things I seem to be lacking at the moment. So after a bit of thought and contemplation, I've decided to take up crocheting! The world of crocheting isn't completely foreign to me, as a matter of fact, back in the day (circa 1996) my mother taught me how to crochet my first blanket. It was a simple pattern with no extravagant detail or complicated stitches, but I remember feeling a sense of peace and calm and I sat for hours with my fluffy ball of yarn, my powder blue crocheting needle, and my busy hands working away as I lost myself in a different world all together.
So today begins my new and exciting crocheting journey. I'm sure I will encounter countless moments of peace, frustration, boredom, and excitement... but I couldn't be more ready for the challenge. I'm already counting down the hours till I get off work so I can head over to the craft store to pick out some beautiful yarn!
I thought I'd also include some lovely crocheting pictures to serve as inspiration for the journey ahead....

Yarn, coffee, and a good book- doesn't get much better!

I am just in love with the idea of having a crocheting fort... brilliant!

What a bright, creative, and fun work space. Someday I would love to have a"craft" room in my house.
Colorful yarn makes me smile

I want this bag!!

How great is this yarn holder tea cup?!?! I don't just want this... I need this.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Thanks Mom and Dad

(Warning: super sarcastic post ahead)
Among the many things wrong with my body, I had the privilege of inheriting the oh so lovely string of autoimmune disorders my parents both managed to accumulate over their lifetime. Why I couldn't have inherited my mothers knack for organization and cleanliness, or my dads intelligence and ability to fix anything, is beyond me.
Every so often my body goes all haywire on me and my lovely immune system decides to start attacking my own body for no apparent reason... as if my joints did anything to deserve such vile treatment. Unfortunately when this occurs there is very little I can do about it. Except for a little thing called Prednisone. This powerful steroid is able to take down inflammation in my body and help me to return to feeling normal.
Unfortunately, I hate Prednisone.
Its amazing how one little pill can make me sweat like a pig, disturb my beauty sleep for weeks on end, turn me into a non stop eating machine, give me acne on my chest and back, and make me into this super cranky and emotional women no one wants to be around because she's got pit stains on her shirt, chocolate remnants in the corners of her mouth, and tears streaming down her cheeks. It's not a pretty sight.
I suppose this is my new normal.... super fun!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

My God is a Comfort

It has been a roller coaster of emotions lately as I've attempted to navigate my way through a difficult season in my life. I've experienced a plethora of highs and lows over these last few months, but through it all the Lord has steadily been teaching me how to find contentment in my soul even when my surroundings feel chaotic and messy.
I would love to say I have found this so-called "contentment"- but that would be a lie. My journey is far from over, my path is far from complete, but my God is close at hand. Each day I desperately cling to God's word, and there I find peace and encouragement beyond comprehension. So for now I will leave you with two scriptures that have tugged at my heart this past week... maybe you too will find it a comfort as well.

Psalm 94:18-19
"Your loving kindness, O Lord, will hold me up. When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, your consolations delight my soul"

Hebrews 6:19
"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure"

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Thoughts for the Day

Happy Tuesday!
I've decided to make this day (despite the fact that I'll be working a 10 hour day) one filled with positive thoughts and long conversations with the Lord.
The constant worry and anxiety I battle in my head does not belong dwelling here, therefore I'm trying my best to surrender it to the Lord today.
I will probably slip and fail, but my heart is insitant on trying.
Deuteronomy 31:6
"Be strong and couragous. Do not be afraid or terrified, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you or forsake you."

Monday, June 14, 2010

Monday's have a tendency to be a drag- don't you agree?
Monday's mark the official termination of the weekend, which comes to mean the next Saturday is now a gigantic 6 days away.
So in an effort to shed a little light on your Monday blues, I thought I'd share a few new favorite things of mine...

  1. Drinking tea in bed until my heart is content to start the day

2. Kipi- my new favorite artist from Brooklyn. Her whimsical graffiti like paintings are always done on pages of old used books... what an inspiration.

3. Oscar Wilde's "The Picture of Dorian Gray"- I couldn't be more in love or more haunted by this work of genius if I tried.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Books Books Books

Nothing brings joy to my heart more than the aroma of a second-hand book store. Every time I walk in my soul smiles a little as I glance around the room hopeful of the treasures I will surely come across that day. Of course, my pocketbook is not near as fond of the used book store as my heart is, but I like to justify my purchases by telling myself ....
  1. I'm living a more "green" life by buying used.
  2. I'm purchasing something that has its own unique history- and nothing can put a price on that.
  3. Its not like I'm spending money on frivolous items, books last forever are sources of great knowledge and personal growth.
  4. Only used books contain fun inscriptions written by past owners.
  5. And finally.... because they look prettier on my book shelf than anything you could ever buy at Barns and Noble.

After a wonderful Saturday afternoon, my two girlfriends and I wandered into The Book Tree here in Scottsdale, and had a brief look around. Our intentions were to take a quick browse and nothing more- but of course nothing could have been farther from the truth. After only 20 minutes inside, I walked away with four beautiful new treasures. And what exactly did I find you ask??

Two beautifully old Oscar Wilde books ("The Picture of Dorian Gray" and "The Importance of Being Earnest")

One 1945 edition of John Steinbeck's "The Pearl"

And a sweet children's book of poetry called "Is Somewhere Always Far Away?"

I'm so excited to start my new stack of reading material... I just love the way books beckon to be read- its poetic.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

It's Saturday!

Why hello beautiful Saturday morning!
The sun is shinning, the weather is dreadfully hot, and the day ahead is perfectly unscheduled.
I was thinking I'd have lunch with a cute boy, drink ice chai lattes on a blanket in the park while reading books with a dear friend, and chat it up for hours with my most favorite girlfriends!
I'd say after the hard week I experienced, today is the perfect day to surround myself with the people I love most.

Friday, June 11, 2010

I'm inspired by this vintage photo-
The woman in saddle shoes is perfectly sassy!

I couldn't sleep last night.
After hours of tossing and turning, I finally threw up my hands at 4:00am and gave up my desperate attempts to sleep. I knew operating on 2 hours of sleep would seriously mess with my head today, but sometimes your body simply fails to care.
So here I am- its almost 8am and already I've cleaned, gone grocery shopping, showered, done my makeup, and made my boyfriend a homemade cheesecake I've been promising him.
I'd say that's darn productive for only having slept from 2am-4am!!
I doubt this boundless energy will last me all day, but with a whole new day on the horizon I'm optimistic on what could possibly be in store.
Happy Friday everyone!
Enjoy the weekend!
(FYI: my cheesecake doesn't look nearly as pretty as this picture- but its the taste that counts!)

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Whenever I have a bad day there are a few things I can count on to cheer me up...

1. Having my sweet puppy Tirzah cuddle up to me when I take a nap on the couch.

2. Listening to the Beatles (I'm currently playing "Here Comes the Sun" as I type)

3. Playing games that take my mind off whatever it is I'm upset about.

4. Getting down on my knees in prayer and telling God EXACTLY how I feel.

5. Having my favorite boy come over and make me laugh as I rest in his arms.

6. Having a good cry... or ten.

7. Venting to my best friend over the phone.

8. Wearing my sweat pants

9. Putting on my favorite pair of shoes as I chill in my apartment

(Christian Louboutin shoes just have a way of making me feel pretty) And yes- wearing sweat pants and 5 inch pumps are a sure way to make me feel happy.

10. Ice cream, smoothies, or any other yummy desert

11. And of course crappy TV shows that serve no purpose.

What do you do when you have a crappy day???

Friday, June 4, 2010

Summer in Arizona- my enemy

Its official- summer in Arizona has arrived!
I almost cried when I saw my car temp read 105 degrees this afternoon.
I suppose I should have expected summer to rear its ugly head eventually, after all it is June, but I dont think my body is ever prepared to bare the heat of hell.
So today I finally broke down, open my summer wardrobe, whipped out the shorts, gathered together all my "barely there" tanks, and loaded my freezer with yummy fruit pops.
I'm ready to take on the heat- but make no mistake, I will be complaining about the heat from
now till August.
*SIGH* Arizona sometimes you can be so cruel!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Pig Pen and I are Soul Mates

Sometimes life gets messy. Yes, believe it or not sometimes my humble little apartment looks as if an angry tornado has swiftly swept through it leaving nothing but a trail of dirty dishes and various articles of clothing strewn about. And while my mess bothers me on occasion- mostly I don't mind it. Whether its my car, my apartment, my closet, or my health... things just have a tendency to get a little messy in my neck of the woods. I like to think of myself as the real life "Pig-Pen" character from Charlie Brown

I sometimes plead with the Lord to make me different- to change my habits, tendencies, quirks, and physical well being... but guess what? He seems to always reply with a resounding NO. I'm starting to get the feeling God doesn't want to change me or my messy surroundings, but rather He desires for me to find peace within the mess. He wants me to find "Emily" amidst the chaos life throws my way. And He wants me to somehow look beyond my circumstances and into His heart.

So to all my fellow "Pig Pen's" out there- together lets learn to love our messiness and find peace at our core.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

I cry everytime I hear this song... it simply melts my heart.