Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Learning

I'm currently in the process of finding out who I am. I find no shame in trying new things, going new places, and experiencing the world in a way not previously done. I will undoubtedly try and fail many times over. I will run when I should have walked and say things I probably shouldn't. But I'm not afraid to try. I'm not afraid of what others think of me, I'm not afraid of being different, and most importantly I'm not afraid to take a risk- big or small. I'm eclectic, inconsistent, and totally sporadic... and I love it. I've come to realize I am not defined by the things I have, the clothes I wear, or the talents I lack. I can only be defined by who I am in Christ. I'm letting go of judgment and criticism. I'm realizing I can't please everyone. I'm making peace with whoever it is I am. And most importantly, I'm choosing to follow God and seek His approval above all else. Don't get me wrong- I too judge. As a matter of fact I'm guilty of gossiping about my friends, envying what others have, criticizing the appearances of strangers, arguing with the people I love, saying things I don't mean, lacking patients when its needed most, and intentionally going against what God asks of me. I'm imperfect. But with each mistake I make I learn more about the woman I want to be. I'm learning to hold my tongue when my defensive urges come rushing over me. I'm learning to treat others with the same grace God shows me. I'm learning to open my mind to different ways of life. I'm learning my words to others are powerful. And I'm learning my opinions are my own and cannot be taken from me.
Yes, I'm learning- and I love it.

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