Matching PJ's

Every year since I was a little girl it has been a tradition in our family to open ONE present on Christmas Eve. My sister and I would tear into our gift each year, olny to find a new pair of matching PJ's for us to wear that evening. While my sister often complained that the gift was lame, I as the little sister always thought it was so cool to finally be matching my older sister. As the years have gone on, the tradition has remained. My sister and I now giggle with excitement as we tear into our boxes, anxious to see what that years jammies look like. Not only do my sister and I match each year, but John and the kids have also joined in on this oh so fun tradition. Oh and did I mention.... my mom makes the pj's herself each year! :-) I look back now on all the Christmas's I've had and I'm so greatful for all our little family traditions.

INTRODUCING......

It gives me great pleasure to introduce the new member of my family....

TIRZAH!!!!

My adorable new pup was rescued by the Rancho Santa Fe Animal Shelter on Dec. 9th 2008.

Tirzah is a Whippit/Toy Terrier mix who weighs in at a mere 9.6 lbs.

Tirzah is extremely lovable and docile with a quirky and spunky streak that keeps me laughing.

She makes a wonderful addition to my quaint little apartment.

What a blessing it is to have such a sweet puppy!

Hi everyone, my name is Tirzah and as you probably already know, "Emily" is my new human. I'm adjusting well to my home. I'm already learning lots of new commands such as, "down", "go potty", and "sit". I'm also all signed up for puppy obedience training starting next Sunday... I'll be sure to keep you posted on my progress. I've also made a new friend, my human and her family call her "Nala"... she wasnt sure just what to think of me at first, but I think there's a friendship in our future. I can't tell you how amazing it is to finally have a loving family, a warm place to sleep, and unconditional love.... and all of it just in time for Christmas!!! Isn't God good?

"Video" by India Arie

Alright you guys, I found this new song that I'm absolutely crazy about! I couldnt figure out how to download the song onto the blog without dowloading the whole music video, so when you first play it, follow along with the lyrics as you listen instead of watching the Video. The lyrics are amazing! I've also put in bold the specific parts of the lyrics that I love. Oh yeah, and the song is titled "Video" by India Arie. Enjoy!!!!

"Video" Lyrics

Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I dont

Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I wont

Depend on how the wind blows I might even paint my toes

It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul

Im not the average girl from your video

And I aint built like a supermodel

But, I learned to love myself unconditionally

Because I am a queen

Im not the average girl from your video

My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes

No matter what Im wearing I will always be india aria (insert your own name where her's is!)

When I look in the mirror the only one there is me

Every freckle on my face is where its supposed to be

And I know our creator didnt make no mistakes on me

My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes; Im lovin what I see

Im not the average girl from your video

And I aint built like a supermodel

But, I learned to love myself unconditionally

Because I am a queen

Im not the average girl from your video

My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes

No matter what Im wearing I will always be india aria

Am I less of a lady if I dont wear pantyhose?

My mama said a lady aint what she wears but, what she knows

But, Ive drawn a conclusion, its all an illusion, confusions the name of the game

A misconception, a vast deception

Somethings gotta change

Dont be offended this is all my opinion

Aint nothing that Im sayin law

This is a true confession of a life learned lesson I was sent here to share wit

Yall

So get in where you fit in go on and shine

Free your mind, nows the time

Put your salt on the shelf

Go on and love yourself

cuz everythings gonna be all right

Im not the average girl from your video

And I aint built like a supermodel

But, I learned to love myself unconditionally

Because I am a queen

Im not the average girl from your video

My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes

No matter what Im wearing I will always be india aria

Keep your fancy drinks and your expensive minks

I dont need that to have a good time

Keep your expensive car and your caviar

All I need is my guitar

Keep your crisp style and your pistol

Id rather have a pretty piece of crystal

Dont need your silicon I prefer my own

What God gave me is just fine

Im not the average girl from your video

And I aint built like a supermodel

But, I learned to love myself unconditionally

Because I am a queen

Im not the average girl from your video

My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes

No matter what Im wearing I will always be india aria

Joy in the Lord

Each season of life I seem to find myself faced with a new challenge. Some are of course more difficult than others, but regardless of what it is I'm faced with, I can rest assured its all according to God's plan. About a year ago, I entered a new and challenging season in my life. As most of you may know, I was diagnosed with an Autoimmune Disease called Interstitial Cystitis. To simplify it, my body mistakenly attacks the lining of my bladder as if it were a foreign body. This causes my bladder to become severely inflamed and irritated for no apparent reason. The pain is chronic and feels as if my bladder is filled to its absolute capacity, ready to explode, when in reality there is not a drop of urine to be found. The pain is beyond irritating. Some days are worse than others, but regardless of how "good" of a day I'm having, I always have and always will feel pain in my bladder. I've recently realized that despite the pain, life must go on. I cant whine and complain about how uncomfortable I am everyday. As my mom once told me, "you can visit pity city, but you cant live there".... and as annoying as this saying may be sometimes, its also very true. One thing is for sure, I refuse to let this disease steal my joy! If we all waited until we felt perfectly healthy from the inside out to experience joy in our lives, we'd always be miserable. Our bodies were not designed to be flawless. I've had to learn find joy outside my pain, for true joy doesnt come from our circumstances, but rather from the Lord. We all have our burdens to bear... interstitial cystitis is mine. Sucky? YES. End of the world? Certainly not! If anything its been a blessing. Isnt it true that when we're in pain or agony we turn to the Lord more? Well I know it true for me, and being in pain almost everyday has caused me to turn to the Lord time and time again. He reminds me daily that He is in control. My disease is out of my hands. Not because I dont care, but because the Lord can handle it far better than I ever could.

Psalm 55:22

"Cast your burdens on the Lord, and He will sustain you."

Stress

Let the count down begin.... yep you guessed it, ITS THE WEEK BEFORE FINALS!!! AHHH! I'm stressed and freaking out as usual, but I'm also trying to keep in mind that God is in control. I just need to get through these last two weeks and I'm home free! Please be in prayer that finals go well... especially my History final (which is gonna absolutely kick my butt!) Thanks everyone.

Reflections

Today is a sad day... it marks the last day of my six month mentor program "Tandem". I feel so fortunate to have had six wonderful months with my Christian mentor Julie. Julie and I met once a week to catch up, talk about the happenings in our lives, and support each other through prayer. It feels like just yesterday I was about to begin the program, not knowing who God was about to bring into my life or what exactly He had planned for me. I've learned that God knows me far better than I even know myself, for He so wonderfully hand picked the most amazing woman to be my mentor. She has guided me through rough times and celebrated with me in joyful times. She's been a listening ear when I needed to vent, and a wise counsel when I needed advise. No matter what I found myself facing during those 6 months, Julie always lovingly pointed me back to the Lord. She not only dutifully met with me once a week, but she kept me in constant prayer throughout our time together. As a young Christian woman, I cant stress enough the importance of having another Christian woman in your life to mentor you and guide you along life's path. I had no idea just how influential a mentor would be in my life, until I took the leap of faith, made myself vulnerable, and committed my time and heart to my mentor. Even though our time of meeting is up, I know Julie and I will be friends for years to come. God has forever etched a place in my heart for her, and I'm so grateful He did. It has been an amazing journey, and I recommend it to every woman!

Mentor : A wise and trusted guide.

Titus 2:3-5

"Similarly, older women should be reverent in their behavior, not slanderers, not addicted to drink, teaching what is good, so that they may train younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, chaste, good homemakers, under the control of their husbands, so that the word of God may not be discredited."

Hebrews 10:24

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

A Heart At Rest

Alright, I've officially been inspired. As many of you may know, I've become obsessed with the book Captivating. If your a woman and you've never read it, you MUST go out and buy it right away. It's an incredible book and definitely worth the investment. There's so much of the book I wish I could share with you, but since that would take far too much time, I figured I'd share my newest inspiration....

"True beauty comes from the inner part of us. Our hearts. A heart at rest. A woman in her glory, a woman of beauty, is a woman who is not striving to become beautiful or worthy or enough. She knows in her quiet center where God dwells that he finds her beautiful, has deemed her worthy, and in him, she is enough. In fact, the only thing getting in the way of our being fully captivating and enjoyed is our striving....

She exudes a sense of calm, a sense of rest, and invites those around her to rest as well. She speaks comfort; she knows that we live in a world at war, that we have a vicious enemy, and our journey is through a broken world. But she also knows that because of God all is well, that all will be well. A woman of true beauty offers others the grace to be and the room to become. In her presence, we can release the tension and pressure that so often grip our hearts. We can also breath in the truth that God loves us and He is good."

"A heart at rest." Doesn't that sounds peaceful? My new prayer is that God would create in me a heart that is not anxious, not stressed, not insecure; but rather a heart that is completely content and utterly at rest. I want others to feel calm, comfortable, and at home around me. I want my beauty to ooze from the inside out. True beauty points not to the person who exudes it, but instead points to the Lord, drawing others to the beauty and grace of God. How awesome is that? Dont you want others to be drawn to the Lord simply due to the inner beauty that you possess? Just a little food for thought.

My Bunny Friend

Every once in a while, when I arrive home late, and the parking lot of my apartment is free of people, if I'm lucky, as I walk to the stairs I'll run into an old friend of mine. No its not a person, but rather a little grey and white bunny no bigger than a box of tissues. The first few encounters the bunny and I had, I thought nothing of it, other than the fact that he is quite adorable. But as time went on I began to notice a pattern. The nights I would run into him where always the nights I felt overwhelmed, frustrated, or alone. Then one night it hit me. This bunny wasnt just any ordinary bunny, he was God's gift to me. This simple little grey and white bunny was God's reminder of how much He loves me. God knows me, He knows what makes me smile, what makes my heart beat a little faster, and what takes my breath away. He knew that this cute little bunny would bring a smile to my face and sunshine to brighten my day. Each time I look at my tiny friend I'm reminded of just how good God is. It's about seeing the extraordinary in the ordinary.

Question to ponder: How many so-called ordinary things do you pass by on a daily basis, that are intended to be God's gift to you? God is constantly trying to woo us... dont miss what He wants to show you.

Victoria's Secret

I dont know if any of you knew, but being the TV junky that I am I couldnt help but notice that last night was the ever annoying Victoria Secret Runway Show. Can I just vent about this a moment? First of all, I've always been curious, who the hell is Victoria? And why can't she keep her damn secret to herself? Second, do you ever see the Chanel runway show televised for the world to see? No way. So why must we parade half naked too thin models down the runway in skimpy lingerer while the entire nation looks on? Do you think for a second that their intention is to sell the merchandise they're so annoyingly flaunting in our faces? Heck no! This disgusting show does nothing more than demean women, portraying them as objects of lust and desire to the equally disgusting men who drool over them. Now, I dont mean to sound like some loud mouth feminist, because I guarantee you I'm not. But there is something wrong when we as women begin to believe there is nothing wrong with runway shows such as the Victoria Secret show, not to mention their almost R rated commercials. Only 8%, yes you read that right, 8% of women in the WORLD naturally have bodies built like the Victoria Secret models. But when we flaunt these models for every woman to see and compare herself to, we are exponentially adding to the dissatisfaction, poor body image, and eating disorder issues that are already running rampant in our world. About two years ago, I probably wouldnt have even realized how offensive adds and shows like these were, but now that I find myself recovered from an eating disorder, I am hyper sensitive to the destructiveness of the media on women today. Lets stop turning a blind eye to the slow and deceptive deterioration of women. Satan hates women. He hates her beauty, her strength, and her powerful potential to be all God created her to be... His goal is to destroy us... Lets not let him. Put you foot down and stick up for not just our current generation of women, but the next one as well.

Overwhelmed

Strange how a single day can bring out so many emotions. From laughter to tears. From frustration to enjoyment. Some days can easily take you from one end of the spectrum to another, and today was definitely one of those days. These are the things currently running through my head... WARNING! could be hazardous to your own sense of calm and well being.

1. Finals week is rapidly approaching and we all know that with it comes a crap load of stress... the kind that makes you want to pull your hair out and scream, "I'M SOOOOOO DONE!"


2. Christmas is right around the corner... translation: I'M BROKE!


3. My upcoming weekend that was supposed to be filled with studying, has now been replaced with family and church obligations. Its not that I dont love both these things, its just that... well... I'm OVERWHELMED hello?


4. My head is spinning about this big "decision" I'll be making in the next few months (dont feel left out that you dont know what it is I'm trying to decide... I'm not telling anyone actually)


5. My apartment is now borderline disgusting... I hate cleaning with a passion (I'm so not domestic)


6. I'm exhausted due to a lack of sleep these past few nights.

To be honest, my list could probably continue on for another hour or so, but I'll spare you from the boredom of having to read it. I have to admit, sometimes I simply use this blog as a personal journal. Its a place where I can go and write my thoughts, share them with the world, and not be ashamed. I am who I am... good days and bad days included. While I was sitting here typing my list of grievances, I glanced over at my little black purse lying on the floor. "What in the world is sticking out the zipper??" I bent down, picked up the purse, and pulled the little piece of paper out. I found myself looking at the Ladies Christmas Tea program from last night. In a matter of seconds I was reminded of our speaker Donna who spoke about the hectic nature of the Christmas season, particularly to women. She compared it to being in a canoe that has just flipped over in an icy cold lake... suddenly we scream out "help I'm drowning... help!" When rescue arrives, we have gotten ourselves in such a tizzy we cant comprehend whats going on around us. Meanwhile, our rescuer is desperately trying to get our attention by saying "Ma'am look at me. Look at my face. I will help you, just hold onto me and trust me." Donna then proceeded to tell us that is precisely what God is trying to say to us when we feel so overwhelmed that it feels as if we're downing. God is tell you, "Emily (insert name here), look at me. Look at MY face. I will help you, you just need to hold onto me and trust me."

Thank you Lord for that much needed reminder!

Joshua 23:8

"But you are to hold fast to the LORD your God, as you have until now"

Love

Ok so its 11:30pm right now and I cant sleep! Ugh insomnia can be frustrating sometimes. Anyway, I was lying in bed thinking about where I was emotionally, physically, and spiritually a year ago today, and it suddenly hit me.... I'm finally ok. For the first time in what has felt like a lifetime, I'm finally ok with who I am. I no longer have a never ending list of things I want to change about myself. I've learned to not only accept who I am, but love who I am. Thats right, I actually love my short temper, my procrastination, my cluttered car, my impossible hair, my celulite thighs, my perfectionist nature, my short frame, my big feet, my crooked bottom teeth, my autoimmune disease, my nail bitting habit, my forgetfulness, my bodies curves, and my big butt. Yep you read that right... I love all thoes things. I love them not because I have to or because I've simply resigned myself to, but rather because God gave me thoes qualities.... and thats precisly what makes me unique. Its amazing what God can do with a broken life when you allow Him to heal it. Not too long ago I wasn't simply a cracked pot.... oh no, I was shattered into a million little pieces. But God is so good. I dont care what anyone says, I truely believe God is still in the miracle making business! Anyway, once I found myself on the mend, the Lord lit a firey passion within me. A passion to share my story and be an example to girls and women who have found themselves in the depths of self hatred whether it be through low self esteem, an eating disorder, or the never ending body image issues we all face as women. There is hope. Every woman can live a free life... and every woman deserves a free life. We dont have to be bound by shame any longer. It reminds me of a passage from my favorite book Captivating,

"I know I am not alone in this nagging sense of failing to measure up, a feeling of not being good enough as a woman. Every woman I've ever met feels it - something deeper than just the sense of failing at what she does. An underlying gut feeling of failing at who she is. I am not enough, and, I am too much at the same time. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy. The result is shame, the universal companion of women. It haunts us, nipping at our heels, feeding on our deepest fear that we will end up abandoned and alone."

Its easy to love the things that are "pretty" about you, and measure up to societies standards... but I challenge you to start loving what you hate most about yourself. This can be a daunting task, but ask God to help you love. You'll be amazed how a little of God's love can free you up immensely.

The Glass Slipper

While out shopping today I just couldnt resist this adorable plaque... I guess its the hopeless romantic in me that drove me to purchase it....

I knew my love for shoes would come in handy one day!

It Is Well With My Soul

5:30am the alarm sounds. Its early, but I'm ready and excited to start my day. I groggily climb out of bed and make my way to the shower. As I step into the steaming hot cascade of water, I can somehow tell this is going to be a pleasant day. Step one, Make-up. You know how sometimes you go to put on your make-up as you usually do, but for some odd reason it comes out flawless, making you wish everyday could be so effortlessly simple? Well today was the that sort of day... or so I thought. With my make-up finished I moved onto step two, style hair. Within fifteen minuets I'm finished with my hair and looking into the mirror amazed and dumbfounded at how great it looks... man what a good hair day! Finally I glace over to the floor where my adorable outfit lies waiting for me to put it on and walk out the door with an extra bounce in my step... if only life were that easy. I put my new top on first.... cute, check! Next goes the necklace... funky and fun, check! Finally, I go to put on my pants when... disaster strikes! UGH! No no no no this is NOT happening. I love these cute blue pants, how could they not fit? I struggle with the pants for a good ten minuets, jumping up and down, sucking in my stomach till I cant breathe, and lying on the bed in a final and desperate attempt to get the damn pants to button. In the end, the pants won. I found myself sitting on my bed at a sudden and unexpected cross roads.... I could have a major melt down, whining and complaining about how fat I've gotten, only to come to the conclusion that my diet and rigorous exercise routine starts today, OR I could remind myself that these pants where bought when I was still an unhealthy size, when my life was consumed and controlled by my eating disorder, and when I allowed a number sewn onto the inside on my pants to rule my life. You'll be happy to hear, I chose the second option. Today is a new day.... I refuse to be defined my a number, and I refuse to believe that I'm fat just because of my pant size. So now comes the difficult part. What is heavens name do I do with these pants that dont fit? Do I hang them back up in my closet only to allow them to taunt me? Or do I accept that I will probably NEVER be that size again.... not because I'm fat, but because this is the way God created me! He didnt make me to be a size 2.... so what? My body is a temple unto the Lord, and to make myself sick just so I can claim a size our culture deems acceptable is ridiculous! About a year ago this type of morning would have devastated me. It would have set the tone for a miserable day, but not anymore. Instead, I found a different (and equally cute) pair of pants to put on, I grabbed my "knock your socks off" yellow purse, and walked out the door with a smile and a sense of contentness. I'm happy with who I am... but I'm even happier that pants dont rule my life anymore. It reminds me of a song we sang in church last night.....

"When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blessed assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul."

Christmas Tree Lighting

It has ALWAYS been a dream of mine to go to the Christmas Tree lighting in Rockerfeller Center in New York.... unfortunately New York is kinda a long drive from San Diego. Instead, every year I attend the Carlsbad Christmas Tree lighting at the Forum shopping center. Its definitely not the same, but for now it will have to do. There is just something so fun and cozy about being in a long coat, scarf, and gloves with a big cup of coffee (or tea for me :-) and listening to carolers while a HUGE tree is lit by Santa. It's moments like these that make life fun. Well, I'm off to join in on the festivities.... life is too short not to act like a kid sometimes!

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! What a wonderful year its been... so much has happened and there is certainly so much to be thankful for.

I'm Thankful for:

1. My relationship with the Lord as I continue to grow in Him daily


2. My parents who have loved, supported, and provided for me these past 20 years


3. My wonderful sister who makes me laugh, listens to me when I need to vent, knows me inside and out, and understands who I really am.


4. My beautiful niece and nephew who have given me one of the best roles I have ever played..."Aunt"


5. My Point Loma girlfriends (Kayla, Lauren, and Becca), who loved me and supported me through one of the darkest times of my life, my eating disorder.


6. My recovery! I am so thankful that the Lord allowed me to not only experience anorexia, but through His grace, also allowed me to come out on the other side.


7. My "recovery team".... Healthy Within, Kate my therapist, Kelley my yoga/pilates teacher, and Kourtney my After Care therapist.


8. My health (I no longer take it for granted)


9. My Mentor Julie who has provided me with countless support and much need prayers


10. My friend JaNay who has been an incredible example of living a life sold out for Christ.


11. My adorable apartment :-)


12. My body.... curves and all!


13. My flaws, after all its our flaws that make us all different and unique right?


14. My job. Being a nanny is such a blessing.

The list of things I'm thankful for could go on.....

Peanut Butter Lovers Month

Well I'll be darned, its National Peanut Butter Lover's Month!! Let's celebrate the goodness that is peanut butter...yum!

Here are some funny peanut butter facts:

1. Arachiutyrophobia = the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth


2. It takes almost 850 peanuts to make an 18 oz jar of peanut butter!


3. The average child will eat 1,500 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches before he/she graduates high school.


4. Peanut butter is excellent for removing chewing gum from clothing and hair.

Health Benefits of Peanut Butter:

1. It is an EXCELENT source of protein


2. Provides essential vitamins and minerals like Vitamin E, Niacin, Phosphorous & Magnesium


3. Is Cholesterol Free and can help improve your HDL-LDL ratio


4. Contains fiber, offering about as much as ½ cup of broccoli


5. Good source of natural folic acid, an essential nutrient during pregnancy and in the prevention of heart disease

I can remember eating peanut butter and jelly on soft white Wonder Bread when I was a little girl, and just thinking about it makes my mouth water. There is no doubt, peanut butter is delicious, fun, and an all american classic... lets celebrate by indulging in this yummy (and healthy) treat! I encourage you to be a kid again and have some fun with peanut butter!

Fork in the Road

It's funny how life can take such abrupt twists and turns sometimes. It seemed as if for the first time in over a year, my life had just begun to settle down, when all the sudden I found myself at a fork in the road where I was faced with a decision that would change the course of my life... not to sound to dramatic or anything, but the decision is no small one to say the least. I'm tempted to blurt out to everyone just what it is I'm wrestling with, but in the end, I don't want anyone to influence my decision, therefor I'm keeping it a mystery, and am requesting your prayers regarding this matter (the Lord will know what your praying for even if you don't.) As for now, I've decided not to rush into anything, but instead give it to the Lord completely, after all, its His will I seek for my life, not my own. A wise friend and counselor recently gave me a scripture that I've been praying daily, and would appreciate your help and support if you would do the same. The verse is...

Jeremiah 6:16
"This is what the LORD says, 'Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.'"

Study Day

Studying stinks! I have two huge tests tomorrow, please be in prayer that I do well. Thanks everyone!

One of Those Days

Ugh, what an exhausting day! God showed me once again that His plan is not always my plan, and while I'm free to kick and scream about it, in the end what He has planned is always far better than anything I could imagine for myself. Unfortunately, today was the day all college students dread most... registration!! Yuck just hearing that word makes me cringe. Anyway, as I battled to get the last of my pre-nursing courses, I discovered that two of the classes I need most are both completely full and closed. And while I was frustrated and annoyed initially, my sister so wonderfully reminded me that no matter what happens, its all apart of God's plan, just let it go and put it back in His hands. Now as I wind down from what feels like a never ending emotional roller coaster, I realize that in the big scheme of things this is simply a little bump in the road. No use in worrying, its a wasted emotion. After all, its impossible to worry and trust the Lord at the same time... I'm choosing to trust the Lord.

Proverbs 16:3

"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas!!!

Well, my favorite season is approaching.... that's right, CHRISTMAS!!!! I know what your probably thinking, its not even Thanksgiving yet, but if I had it my way I'd celebrate Christmas from November through January. I love everything about this holiday, from the smell of mom's home made apple cider heating on the stove, to opening presents under the tree surrounded by the warmth of family.... not to mention the most important part of the season, Christ's birth! This year happens to be the very first Christmas in my apartment, and while I wont actually be celebrating in my apartment on Christmas day, I couldn't help but decorate!! There's just something about Christmas decorations that makes a house feel like a home. For the next month and a half I plan on soaking up every last bit of this wonderful time of year, and what better place to do so than in my quaint little apartment? Here are the pictures of my newly decorated place, enjoy....

New Favorite Song

This is my new FAVORITE song!!! I found the video and the lyrics that go with it so here it is... enjoy....

Beautiful Life - Fisher

Hey child up and go-

Big world is out there waiting for us to

live in every day

Outside you will find

there is love all around you

-Takes you, makes you wanna' say

That it's a beautiful life

and it's a beautiful world

and it's a beautiful time

to be here, to be here, to be here

The sky's blue-just us two

Side by side we'll see the world

that surrounds us

Hey, seize the day

Each road every mile's a photograph in motion

to astound us, carry us away

into a beautiful life

'Cause it's a beautiful world

and it's a beautiful time

to be here, to be here

Leave all your cares behind you

The sun is rising

Turn around

-it's right in front of you

and it's a beautiful life

and it's a beautiful time

to be here, to be here, to be here

A New Outlook

If you knew that for the rest of your life your body would NEVER change, that it would remain the exact same regardless of how hard you exercised or how much you dieted, would you live the same way your living right now?

I dont know about you, but I've recently realized that I no longer have the desire to waste my life hating my body, trying to improve my body, or envying someone elses body. This is what God gave me... period. Today is a new day. No more torturous diets, no more stupid elliptical machine, and no more trying to fit into a size 5 jeans and x-small shirts. God made my body exactly the way He wanted. I'm taking my focus off "thinness" and redirecting my focus to that of heath. If you desire to be free from negative feelings about your body, then join me in vowing to treat your body as a temple to the Lord. Eat well, but dont deprive yourself of treats, exercise, but dont do something you hate just because it burns more calories, and talk with God often... after all who better to talk to than the one who made you? Love your body TODAY, not ten pounds from now.

One of Those Days

At the end of everyday I have a habit of labeling that specific day as a "good" day or a "bad" day. This might not sound unusual to most of you, but there's something I haven't yet told you. These good and bad day labels refer specifically to what type of body image day I've had. You see, there are days when I feel wonderfully at home and utterly at peace with my body, but there are also days where ED ("Eating Disorder") looms over head feeding me lies about how horrible I look and how fat I've become. Sad isn't it? It's true that I no longer struggle with anorexia... but instead I fight daily with body image issues.

The moment I woke this morning, I could tell this was going to be one of those "bad" days. Ugh I despise these days! When I feel moments such as these creeping up behind me, I do the only thing I can...turn to the Lord. This is not my battle to fight, its His. Right now it's only 9am and already I feel exhausted just thinking about the work that lies ahead of me today. All day I will be forced to fight every negative thought, taking it captive and making it obedient to the Lord. All day I will be in prayer, fighting Satan's lies. All day I will avoid mirrors, scales, and the media in order to prevent myself from slipping down that oh so slippery hill. Nope it wont be easy, and it wont be fun, but I cling to verse that says "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength."

About an hour ago I sat alone on my apartment balcony as large thunder clouds formed above, which seemed fitting for the kind of day I knew was to come, anyway, I opened an old book of mine titled Embracing Your True Beauty In Christ. As I flipped through the pages, I came across some quotes and scripture that I had highlighted, which I thought I'd share with you...

1 Peter 3:3-4
"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

Proverbs 31:30
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

1 Samuel 16:7
"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man Looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart."

Song of Solomon 4:7
"All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you."

Beauty tips by Audrey Hepburn:
1. For attractive lips, speak words of kindness
2. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people
3. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry
4. For Beautiful hair, let a child play with it often
5. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone

Procrastination is My Middle Name

YAY what a productive day I've had! I just love those days when everything on your "to do" list gets accomplished. My family could attest that although I love having a clean apartment, I absolutely hate to clean. I usually put "clean apt" on the very top of my list of things to do everyday, but it somehow always falls to the bottom of the list and inevitably makes its way onto the next days list instead. Before I know it, a month has gone by and my apartment remains untouched (yuck!). Sometimes I wish there was a little cleaning fairy that could just follow me around all day.... unfortunately I live in the real world where there is no such thing. Anyway, I woke up this morning and told myself that my day to clean had finally come. The longer I put it off, the messier it will get. So I got down to business. It wasn't easy and it certainly wasn't fun, but as I sit here typing on my computer surrounded by a spotless and clean smelling apartment, I feel as if a weight has been lifted... I can finally breath again. To top it off, I even had extra time to do a little grocery shopping and pick up some hors d'oeuvres for tonight. Being the wonderful daughter that I am ;-) I invited my parents over to my place this evening for some wine, cheese and crackers, and of course my family's favorite... olive tampenade! Yep all in all today has been quite the productive day, and I couldn't feel better. Its funny how something so simple can make you feel as if all is right with the world again.

I Love Being A Nanny

Let me just say, I absolutely love my job! I'm currently working as a nanny for a wonderful family with two children. James is 16 months and Brooklynn is 4. Today really wasnt much different than any other day at work, but as I found myself down on the ground playing for the millionth time, I was reminded again just how precious these children are. Even on the days when I'm exhausted and dont feel like going to work, the moment I'm greeted at the door by two smiling faces... everything else just seems to melt away. Today Brookie and I were playing around with the video recorder on my phone. Brookie was having the time of her life being goofy in front of the camera, when out of nowhere she suddenly came up with the idea to create a series of video messages to each member of her family (mom, dad, and little brother James). In each video she told them how much she loved them and what she loved most about them. When we had finished all the videos she turned to me and told me she wanted to make a video for me as well. I felt so honored to just be thought of. In the video Brookie so sweetly told me that she loved me because I am "the best nanny in the world!" How adorable is that?? That simple little moment brought so much joy to my day. Once again, I LOVE MY JOB!!! :-)

A Day of Mourning.....

Today my sister posted a scripture that felt fitting for the day following Obama's presidential win, so I thought I'd too share it with everyone....

"..and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people."

Mathew 24:11

Enough said.....

Day of Change... Good or bad?

Today is the day our country will change forever. After you vote please join me in spending the day in prayer for:

1. Our future President

2. The restoration of marriage (YES Prop. 8)

3. The protection of the unborn by making abortion illegal

TOMORROW IS ELECTION DAY... GET OUT AND VOTE!!!!!!!

Stand up and be counted

With the presidential elections only days away, I simply couldn't ignore the part of me that was screaming to join in and unite with my fellow Christian brothers and sisters. Sure I could go into my booth on election day and vote what I believe... but sometimes Christ calls us to more than that. Sometimes, He wants us to stand up and be set apart. About a week ago I felt the Lord telling me to rise up and join the fight against the legalization of gay marriage. Yes my voice is small, but I would be a fool to believe it is insignificant. And so on Saturday (Nov. 1st) I made the decision to go out on the corner of El Camino Real and Leucadia and stand up for what I believe to be true. I thought I'd be nervous going out there and joining all the Yes on 8 ralliers, but to my surprise, the moment I stepped onto that curb, I knew I was doing the right thing. The hundreds of honks and thumbs up from locals were more than enough to keep me going. Even through the various names I was called, fingers I received, and obscenities that were shouted, I knew I was doing what the Lord had asked of me. I truly believe the quote that states, "As California goes, so goes the Nation". As a Christian I believe marriage should be between one man and one woman...period. This isn't about discrimination, hate, or a lack of tolerance. Most could attest that I would be the first one to befriend someone who was gay. I believe they too are created in God's image and deserve to be treated with nothing but love and respect regardless of their lifestyle choices. The gay community argues that by denying them a legal and recognized marriage, we are denying them their civil rights... but this is not so. "Complaining about discrimination, the gay lobby is trying to position the Massachusetts ruling as a logical expansion of the civil rights movement. It isn't. No one has the right to marry whomever he wants. Gays can already get marriage licenses on exactly the same terms as anyone else. Everyone is equally barred from marrying another person who is under a certain age, or too closely related, or of the same gender, or already married to another. Sound reasons underlie all these requirements, which apply equally to everyone, male and female."

Will Yes on Prop 8 pass? I have no idea. But the best I can do is publicly stand up for what I believe in and spend time in prayer regarding this issue. Please join me in prayer for our community and country over these next few days. Our world is about to change regardless....

Freedom is Possible

Most of you probably already know that a little over a year ago I found myself deep in the trenches of an eating disorder. After months of denial and several hospitalizations, I finally came to terms with my anorexia. It was then I made the decision to enter treatment and fight for my life back. As I sit here today, fully recovered, I cant help but thank the Lord for allowing me to walk though that desert season in my life... I call it my blessing in disguise. I believe I went though it for a purpose and I am now bound and determined to help in the fight against eating disorders. The desire of my heart is for women to know the freedom they can have from an eating disorder... the freedom through Christ. Not too long ago I came across this video that inspired me in my fight against "fat talk", bad body image, low self esteem, and of course eating disorders. Enjoy....

So I woke up this morning, stressed as usual for my upcoming test at school, and decided the best way to start my day would be in God's word. I was doing my normal devotional reading curled up on the couch when I glanced down and caught sight of my tattoo. Its funny how I can look at the tattoo everyday and think nothing of it, but on occasion it will catch my attention and bring me back to its meaning. For those of you who dont know about my tattoo, its a simple cross on my ankle with my favorit scripture written under it. Looking at that scripture today reminded me once again of God's wonderful love. Here is the scripture for you to enjoy...

Psalm 139:13-14
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. "

My New Blog!

Welcome to my new blog!

I will use this space as a way to journal things that happen in my daily life, and to keep in better touch with people that I don't get to see as often! I'll update everyone on changes and new stories that happen to me- as well as any daily thoughts or prayer requests.

As a recap- I am currently living in Carlsbad CA, attending Palomar Community College in search of my nursing degree. I changed my mind a few times before finding a career path that I felt passionate about...and now I can't wait to be a nurse!

I like to travel, cook, read and bead my own jewelry to help unwind. I am a daughter, sister, friend and most importantly- an aunt to my beautiful niece Isabella and handsome nephew Tyler.

So, I'm new at the whole "blogging" world, but I'll try my best to keep this site update with my daily life and happenings! Check back often and enjoy!