Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I'm A Little Bit of Everything

To go along with my new life here in Arizona, I've been doing a lot of soul search lately.
Trying to figure out who I am and who I want to be in the future. These past few weeks have been clustered with epiphany filled moments, everything from moving to a new city, making new friends, and breaking up with old boyfriends. Through each circumstance I've come to recognize new things about myself, both good and bad. Do I love who God created me to be... flaws and all? Absolutely. But do I sometimes wish I could be a totally new person? You bet!
Ok I admit it, if I could live another life I would definitely be a vegan, no bra wearing, frizzy hair embracing, free spirited, commune living hippy. I honestly admire women who are so comfortable in their own skin they can shop at the Salvation Army and rock it. Along with my desire to live a shamelessly blissful granola eating, fur rejecting life, is my unhealthy obsession with Alanis Morissette. Nothing brings out my inner "naturalist" quite like her music.
Many ex boyfriends of mine have told me I'm the most difficult, stubborn, and all together confusing woman they've ever met. And while I used to take offense to these comments, I've recently come to embrace them.
I am who I am, you dont like it.... move on.
I often joke that I'll never get married and instead am doomed to live a life of solitude with my hundreds of cats in my old stinky apartment. But I know in my heart God has someone out there for me. Someone who will see all my flaws and difficulties as a beautiful part of my charm. I think Alanis Morissette said it perfectly in her song"Everything".
Here is the song and lyrics for you to follow along with and enjoy!
(Oh and please excuse the swear word in the beginning... there's only one I promise)

video

"Everything"

I can be an asshole of the grandest kind

I can withhold like it's going out of style

I can be the moodiest baby and you've never met anyone

Who is as negative as I am sometimes

I am the wisest woman you've ever met.

I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected.

I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen

And you've never met anyone

Who's as positive as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part

You see all my light and you love my dark

You dig everything of which I'm ashamed

There's not anything to which you can't relate

And you're still here

I blame everyone else, not my own partaking

My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating

I'm terrified and mistrusting

And you've never met anyone as,

As closed down as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part

You see all my light and you love my dark

You dig everything of which I'm ashamed

There's not anything to which you can't relate

And you're still here

What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know

What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go

I'm the funniest woman that you've ever known

I'm the dullest woman that you've ever known

I'm the most gorgeous woman that you've ever known

And you've never met anyone

Who is as everything as I am sometimes

You see everything (you see everything), you see every part (you see every part )You see all my light (you see all my light) and you love my dark (and you love my dark )

You dig everything (you dig everything) of which I'm ashamed (of which I'm ashamed)

There's not anything (there's not anything) to which you can't relate (to which you can't relate)

And you're still here

(You see everything, you see every part)

And you're still here

(You see all my light and you love my dark)

And you're still here

(You dig everything of which I'm ashamed)

(There's not anything to which you can't relate)

And you're still here...

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