Not Me Monday

1. I did NOT take a butcher knife to my bottle of face wash last night in a desperate attempt to cut it open and scrape the sides of it for every last drop of soap in order to save myself from having to sleep with make-up on......which we all know leads to zits.


2. I have NOT lived on vicodin and motrin for the past week due to the pain caused by the root canal I had on Wednesday morning.


3. I did NOT pass up night swimming last night all because I was feeling bloated and fat. I am NOT that self conscious.


4. I did NOT bribe my niece Bella with a cookie and her favorite Care Bears show so I could have 20 minuets to read my book in peace this morning.


5. I did NOT leave wet clothes in the washer for over a day only to discover it now wreaks of mildew and needs to be washed yet again.


6. I do NOT plug my nose and hold my breath every time I open my fridge, just in case something has died in there without my knowledge.


7. I did NOT watch a creepy thriller movie with my sister the other night, and I certainly did NOT get so scared I had to sleep with a small light on in my bedroom that night.


8. I did NOT spill blue slurpy all over the home decorating isle of Target! And I certainly did NOT just leave it there and walk away, pretending it never happened.