Saturday, July 25, 2009

When Good Dates Go Bad

So remember when I decided to put myself out there and blog about the recent adventures in my dating life? What the heck was I thinking?!?! I must have been hallucinating or something. Well, as it turns out, Date #2 with boy from Date #1, failed to meet my expectations. In theory he was perfect, in reality... not so much. To make a long story short, it simply didn't work out. But it did inspire me to write this blog (gotta love blog inspiration). I'm assuming most of my blog reading audience is female, but for the occasional man who happens to run across this entry... here is some advice from a woman whose seen and dated it all. A little note to men who ever plan on dating anyone in the female population.... EVER.

  1. Don't text message her every five seconds.

  2. Don't act jealous after only one date.

  3. Don't over use the smiley face :-) if you plan on texting at all.

  4. Don't reference the "future" on your second date

  5. Don't assume she's on another date when she says she's with a friend

  6. Don't let her pay for dinner

  7. Don't order a girly drink (such as a martini or wine spritzer) - be a man, get a beer.

  8. Don't let her carry the conversation. If you can't talk, don't date

  9. Don't talk about yourself all night.... that does not qualify as conversation

  10. Don't check out another girl in the restaurant

  11. Don't try to be funny if you know your not. Be yourself. Be genuine.

  12. Don't stare at her without blinking for long periods of time. Its creepy.

  13. Don't stare at her boobs. A woman can tell when your look at her eyes or when your looking 5 inches south of there

  14. Don't answer your phone or text message on a date

  15. Don't leave the first five buttons on your shirt unbuttoned. Its 2009, button up.

  16. Don't suggest going swimming/hot tubing together after the first date. The kind of woman you can take home to mom will NOT strip down to her bikini after knowing you for 2 hrs.

  17. Don't try to kiss her until the third or forth date. Date one -too soon. Date five -too late

  18. Hmmm.... Thats all for now. I'm sure there's more but I'm tired. Off to bed I go.


Dustjacket Attic said...

I found that so hilarious, I hope some guys read it and learn something.

Thank you so much for coming by and taking time to leave such a nice comment. You are so welcome.

xxx DJ

a woman. said...

oh.. so true.

lindsay said...

Love it! Your are the best Emily..God has your man out there..just waiting for you :) haha smiley face!